Sunday, December 03, 2006

Marrow's Opera

My dear friend and life long companion Marrow Aspirate, a sensation at Ned's Party, is singing again. She was poked in the hip Tuesday by a well intentioned but creepy sensation. Shaken, but not stirred, persevering, but vulnerable, confident, but scared, she is moving in on the disquiet that is lurking in her beliefs. Stalking the illusive, crippling, demons clouding her passion, her truth. Her singing career has provided amply. Things no longer satisfy, stuff merely clutters, burdens and distracts. Passion is rising. Tones from the core. Notes from Marrow. Marrow's opera is opening downtown in the Wood Ward, corner of East St. and Dean Rd. I hope to see you there. It promises to be quite a show. You'll cry, laugh and leave singing - Guaranteed.

Friday, November 24, 2006

PDT Syndrome

I do just love this PDT (Proud Dad Thing) syndrome. My boy owns a home and can put together an awesome Thanksgiving dinner. A little over a year ago he was desperately searching for a job in his field (computer science) while tending bar at Bennigan's Grill. I am still grinning ear to ear when I remember yesterday.

Then there are my PDT daughter issues. She dumped Mr. Conservative for Mr. Wild N. Crazy. I can't help but hug her and bask in the euphoria exuding from her pores. She is my little girl after all and nothing can change that. I had a few sleepless nights about 15 years ago when Mr. Crazy was corrupting my unspoiled daughter with his rebellious ways. Apparently if you make it through your twenties, avoid run-ins with the law and otherwise succeed in life one shouldn't be judged by your 16 year old self. Life is interesting that way. Fatherhood is challenging that way :-)

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Election Day

I tend to share with those of like mind. It's a lot safer that way. So I'll spare you from yet another rant. This is an educational blog. You all know just a bit more about me now. Of course that might not be one of your important aspirations in life. Education is key to an informed electorate though. Just think you are smarter now - I hope you didn't vote for any of the idiots... oops, I almost ranted. I hope you voted!


Call For Change

Monday, October 30, 2006

Ned's Party

It's party time at Scott's Bone Castle. Gangster rap genre with the band Hip Tap. A special appearance by vocalist Marrow Aspirate accompanied by the Pied Piper of Wood Ward. Ned is the MC. There will be unlimited Bloody Marys for the ghoulish and urine yellow lemon spritzers for the pissed off. Epi Demon is in charge of the environmental effects, lighting, decorations, fog machine... Jean Expression, Epi's side kick, does most of real work so be sure to thank her. Imuno Modulation is catering the gala - totally organic, antioxidant rich, feel good fare with decadent deserts.

It promises to be a festive merrymaking of revelry and jollification. A celebration of Ned's successful feasting in my bones and blood.

A true hoedown honoring No Evidence of Disease (NED) found today in my blood, urine or bone density. No more drugs, no more chemotherapy, no more doctors! Yea Ha.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Weight and Sea

Yes I was touched by the humility and compassion of His Holiness. Just what part was touched I'm not sure. It has been much more than a week since I last touched this blog - sorry about that. My last 2 months of therapy are now over. I find out on Monday were I stand as I travel into the twilight zone of "Weight and Sea." Gravity is different there.

Friday, September 15, 2006

His Holiness the Dalai Lama

I'll let you know if a bit of his compassion and enlightenment touches my life. He will be visiting UB this week. There are not many people on this planet with as much devotion to truth, understanding and compassion as His Holiness. So if everything I do here in Buffalo effects you sitting there reading this, just how connected are we. Your ego has plenty to say about that. So does mine, but I doubt my prose regarding the matter would be either articulate or captivating enough to be worth your time.

I expect to be in his presence for several hours ushering events and the likes. If my lambda light chain protein expression drops to zero I'll let the whole world know! You can check back next week and I'll let you know about how I handle the more mundane issues like the throng of guests and just what part of my psyche is altered.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Summer is Over

Yeah Yeah Yeah - I know it's obvious, but it ended rather abruptly for me. I don't believe I have ever felt the transition like I did this year. One would think that after 42 years of school (yup that's right I haven't missed a year since I was 5) I should have gotten used to it. The August chemo holiday to be followed by 2 more months of the Dex Pirate is toying with my psyche.

Case in point: I am all freeked out about every little sensation and abnormality a body can throw at you. I look in the mirror a few weeks ago and see a bazzion little red dots on my skin. Lu looks at me and says "They look like red stars. Maybe we can connect the dots to make constellations or maybe there is a hidden message. Sorta like the 'Exorcist'" Lots of sympathy there! So I lift up my shirt and show my ever compassionate understanding oncologist. He fains interest, backs away toward the wall and says "Old man spots. Get over it" Not every twitch, tingle and growth in my body is myeloma related I guess. In fact very few are, despite my heightened attentiveness.

There are over 200 students in my class this year. What's up with that? Do I grade to easy? Has an "Introduction to Computers and Instrumentation" suddenly become a prerequisite to a decent paying job? I plan on enjoying it and taking as many of the students along for the ride as I can.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Ned's Progress

No Evidence of Disease might be a bit dissipative, but boy it sure does feel good. Of course being without those nasty Thal/Dex side effects for a few days is just grand. I have reached a new peak in my blood's oxygen carrying capacity as well. Yet another euphoric inducement to my mood. No detectable serum or urine M-spike, normal beta-2, normal RBC, normal plasma loading in my marrow... just a slight elevation of my lambda free light-chain protein expression and some ugly plasma cells in that slide I told you about last week. So if that didn't make much sense not to worry you got the implication I'm sure.

What now you might ask. Why, another trip before the semester and 2 cycles of pulsed Thal/Dex starts at the end of the month. The students will love the Dex days and won't even notice the Thal days. I certainly will bring a new passion and perspective to all those rather calculated and analytical engineers. It will be a transforming experience for all of us I am sure.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Hip Tap

Not to be confused with Spinal Tap, Hip Tap is creepy in a different sort of way. A day, several vials of blood, a gallon of piss and a few grams bone marrow later I feel fine. That is if nothing touches my hip. I'll let you know in a week what they tell me about all those bodily fluids. The good doctor agreed to stain me my very own slide from the "This is Hip Tap" biopsy. I see a potential album cover in the making. I can't wait.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Summer Fun


We have had a wonderful excursion to Oregon following the best funeral I have ever attended. What an odd thing to say about a funeral... Lynn touched so many people in a profound way. God Bless you Lynn you are in my thoughts and prayers regularly.

In one of Lu's amazing feats of manifestation she managed to reschedule our flight out of Albany to just after the service out of Buffalo. Even though I have come to expect such heroics I continue to be in awe when it happens. We arrived in Portland, got in a brand new Outback and drove to a yurt on the coast.

Rockaway Beach has the hokiest 4th of July parade I have ever been to. I love seeing people having a great time and boy does this little town have spirit. Everything from Kids throwing candy to families doing the lawn chair macarena


That evening we sat on a gorgeous beach watching fireworks for as far as you can see in both directions with great friends.

Next Lu drove me to Breitenbush Hot Springs for a couple days of R & R in the Cascades. Lu had reserved a cabin tucked away in the old growth forest complete with 3 organic meals a day and numerous natural pools and saunas for me to soak away my worries. I'm still a porky white boy that shrivels up like a prune and loves to be pampered.


After a couple days in Breitenbush we headed back to Portland for a Myeloma Patient and Family Seminar sponsored by the International Myeloma Foundation. It was both moving and highly informative. The physicians were accessible, compassionate and knowledgeable. I tip my hat to their dedication and highly recommend anyone with myeloma to go the extra mile to attend one of the these seminars. I had seemingly unlimited time with the top researchers in the field who answered all my questions (and everyone else's) always leaving me feeling respected and care for.

After the 2 day seminar we headed to Eugene for some much appreciated time in the care of Lu's Mom. We arrived back in Buffalo after the red eye out of Portland on Tuesday. I worked a couple days and then jumped in the car Friday afternoon and am now relaxing at our camp in Battenville for a long weekend.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

In Memory of Lynn


Our dear dear friend who blessed us with song and laughter passed yesterday afternoon. My how fragile life is. A young healthy vibrant compassionate soul snatched away following a suposedly routine hernia surgery. We love you Lynnie. We miss you. I feel your presense watching over me, I am most thankful. God bless you.

Monday, June 26, 2006

The Baby Boy's Bought a House


It is just amazing to me that Geoff owns a house. Now it is a family affair turning it into a home. Lu is in her glory. There are plenty of projects to keep me excited. Boy is it ever fun to spend his money. Range, dishwasher, carpets and on and on and on. Now if Geoff could just get by without that second job we would have more time for golf, grilling and general male slug-like behavior. The Buffalo Craig's list treated Geoff to a 34" rediculously heavy Sony TV that will require help from someone besides me to get into his bed room. Last week he found a virtually new GE range. Craig's list is awesome. Of course Lu and I get involved so while getting that TV we came home with a Nordic trak elliptical trainer for me, and a sofa and 2 chairs which Lu says we need to "lighten up" the living room. That was not the plan. I'm sure I will spend plenty of time on the sofa. I wonder if it will be appropriately balanced by time on the trainer.

We are looking for a new bed. How come it is almost impossible to figure out what is inside a mattress, whether it will last, or better yet if it is a reasonable deal? We found 3 places that sell Serta beds. None of them are exactly the same model - the prices are about the same. I bet it is a conspiracy by Serta to keep retailers happy and customers in the dark - or at least asleep.

I'm just loving Ned these days. My energy is slowly returning. My enthusiasm is a bit ahead of my ability, but I'm smiling most of the time.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

9 Dex Days to Go

I'm psyching myself up for the 9 remaining dex days. It is much easier to do with Ned's and the Pied Piper's help. Last night we had a great celebration with an old group of friends. A joint wedding, remission, house warming reconnection. I even lost myself into a pleasant glass of Australian shiraz and savored a small piece of tenderloin. Near complete remission is nearly a vacation. Clearly a celebration as far as I'm concerned.

My brother Mark's mega estate sale over the weekend was an event to behold. Hundreds of people, cold rain and wind, but none-the-less a phenomenally successful family reunion. It was worth the 8 hour drive to and from. I still keep trying that "Beam me up Scotty" thing. Unfortunately I keep getting moans and groans from engineering about the malfunctioning widget I can't pronounce.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Ned's M-Spike

The word of the day "complete remission" My wonderful myeloma expert looked at the multitude of evidence and said "There is no evidence of myeloma in your blood. There is no detectable M-spike in your serum" The "M-Spike" is found via a laboratory test known as serum protein electrophoresis which looks for abnormal immunoglobulin (proteins) in the blood. It is nice to know that I don't have any detectable abnormal proteins in my blood.

I'll be back after my 4th cycle in late July for a more thorough prodding, poking, bone boring and picture taking. In the mean time I'm going to take the news to heart and smile to the point of tears! I love Ned. I am now taking dex with half the frequency. A treat for all my friends, wife and me.

Now Ned has to work on all the remaining evidence. He has almost 2 months to finish up. No abnormal cells in the bone marrow aspirate, no protein in the urine, no holes in the bones!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

My Laughter Continues

The good Doctor Onco granted my wish and switched me to low dose buzz me out, manic inducing, bone eating, eye deteriorating, skin blotching, DT inducing, dexamethazone. I am so looking forward to kissing this drug goodbye. Now I go to the myeloma specialist on Tuesday for the latest gossip and prognosis on Scott's laughing plasma cells.

The 9 vials of blood and 4 liters of piss investigated on Tuesday all confirmed earlier suspicions of a partial remission. Although this time it was not 90% I’ll take the difference as the normal random we suck at getting accurate results syndrome. Ned still has some work to do, but in no way am I walking out our bargain. Play that tune, call those plasma cells and enlighten my immune system Mr. Pied Piper!

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Ned's Bargain

Ned is now in possession 9 viles of red and several liters of yellow evidence. I trust that he will call on the Pied Piper of Wood Ward to lead the oncologist to utopia if need be. I'll let you know what they have to say after my first 2 helpings of cheezmo when I meet with them. That begins on Thursday.

I spent most of the day at an Abraham (Ester & Jerry Hicks) Art of Allowing Workshop. It was wonderful. Might I suggest their newest book, The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent.

My baby boy is now a home owner. Just how bizarre is that? Ask and it is given. Be careful what you ask for! When I was 24 I was a vagabond crossing the county with my newly rekindled high school sweetheart, true love and eventual wife. How on earth did this happen so quick and effortlessly. Evolution in action.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Tiger Dancing


After a week of dancing with the big cats (or soon to grow up and be big cats) at CARE Lu and I ventured off to Hot Springs Arkansas. The boyhood home of President Bill Clinton. We stayed at the Arlington Hotel and treated ourselves to daily medicinal baths and massages. Being old rock hounds the quartz crystal capital of the world proved to be true to its name. We had a blast touring the Arkansas back country, numerous rock shops and the Hot Springs National Park.

I am looking forward to a couple oncologist visits and delving into the next phase of this maintenance therapy. What I would give to say goodbye to dex!

Might I recommend: Instant Emotional Healing: Acupressure for the Emotions, by George Pratt, Peter Lambrou. As I slowly incorporate the technique life is improving. Of course the big dex fueled combat with Lu about money has humbled my progress considerably.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Ned Delivers

The Pied Piper of Wood Ward played the tune, my immune system heard it. Ned (No evidence of disease) handled all 2 1/2 liters of the evidence as negotiated. I dropped off the 2 big "orange, I have piss in here jugs" last week for investigation. The protein expression from my plasma cells after 1 cycle (28 days) of treatment dropped 90% and is now just slightly above the "normal" range. The optimistic conclusion is that almost all the myeloma is gone and the remaining plasma cells are normal happy healthy strong efficient perfectly functioning members of my immune system. I'm half way through the second cycle and will pee and bleed for the investigators again after I return from the Center for Animal Research & Education at the end of the month. I am so looking forward to not feeling drugged. It brings tears to my eyes to think that in just 2 short months of what at times was so emotionally and physically bizarre I may be able to move on to a new paradigm. One without drugs or at least these crazy your on drugs side effects. Some sort of monitoring maintenance regimen. Maybe all these complementary therapies are doing the trick! Of course I'm doing about 40 so most likely 38 are irrelevant. That just doesn't matter to me.

I turned 47 this week. What a year 46 was. I am just beaming and ever so ecstatic about my new friend Ned and his cohort the Pied Piper playing Happy Birthday dear Scottie.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Pied Piper of Wood Ward

The Pied Piper of Wood Ward has left with all the rats. His friend Ned (No Evidence of Disease) is asking for compensation. I'm paying him handsomely! There is a minor infestation of varmints in my bone marrow. We are negotiating the terms, discussing side effects and outlining a payment schedule. While Ned and my Cancer Care Coordinator (CCC) do their thing I'm planning a life rich in passion, meaning and purpose.

The 8 day Dex holiday was absolutely glorious. Ned took care of my CBC, which unfortunately doesn't mean much when it comes to myeloma, but it sure means a lot to me. I had more energy, enthusiasm and zest than I have in a very long time. No anemia! If Ned handles the 3 liters of piss I dropped off on Monday and blood they sucked we be having a party!

The Pied Piper was a bit to effective. Apparently the rat poison is really starting to kick in. The oncologist called at about 9 PM - cut the poison boy, yer gonna bruise and bleed to easily, be careful and call in the morning!

Yah - I'm on Dex. I'm posting again. Only slightly manic. I can't shut up, sorry.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Dex DTs

My Dex Delirium Tremens. Up, right, crazy, sleepy, dopey, dizzy, bitchy, dreamy, frustrated, fragile, manic, screaming, crying, laughing, shaking, skin crawling, tingling, itching drug induced whacked out dexamethasone withdrawal. Welcome to PMS, dex style. I apologize for even wondering all these years why after hundreds of periods every one is such a challenge. If they are anything like this I am oh so very sorry. You poor tortured beings. At 3 AM after taking hundreds of milligrams of somnolence (A condition of semiconsciousness approaching coma) inducing thalidomide I should be dead to the world. Fear not - that would be blissful.

A nice dex vacation is coming. I'm oh so very enthused by the simplest of life's pleasures, normalcy.

Blessed are the normal, for they will inherit my body. Scott 5:5

Thursday, April 20, 2006

The rats go marching

The rats go marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah.

Scott, We have change. The rats are leaving, a bit slowly. Our goal is an INR of 1.5 we have managed to move you from 0.8 to 1.3 over the last 3 weeks. Lets bump you up to 10 mg a day. Come back on Monday and we will see how many rats are left.

In the mean time. Three hours of sleep a night is not appropriate. How about if we give you more drugs? The dex and thal seem to have a powerful effect on your virgin biochemistry. I bet I can give you something to knock you out real good. (Maybe I should try pot, I hear it induces apathy. Maybe none of this would matter anymore.)

Manic is good as long as I don't interact with anyone. I have to do 10 things at once. On rare occasions things get finished. A very counterproductive entropy enhancing high. Isn't life grand.

You might notice that I only post when I'm manic... I can't shut up. If you like one sided conversations I'm your man. I actually feel normal by comparison the other half of my life.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Dem Pesky Rats

The rats are not getting the message! They might be scared, but they just aren't leaving.

The good doctor doubled the poison again. Come back on Thursday and we'll see if it worked.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Happy Easter


So I've gained 12 pounds in the last 2 weeks! The thal stimulates the appetite, the dex holds on to the water. I'm digressing back to the Chunky Hunky Easter Scottie at 2 years.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Settling Down

My new side kick Dex, although warped and hyper, is beginning to settle down. I slept great last night, a good solid 7 hours. Lu came home to me passed out in bed with my laptop and glasses still on in some sort of purring state of oblivion.

I'm looking for a parrot for my shoulder, named Dex, and a nice sword, named Thal, to round out my image. Or maybe I should be Dex and the parrot a sleepy dopey confused repeating Thal?

Be sure to check out Lu's attempt at making sense of my life for those of you who need that and can't extract it my verbal drool. The Real Deal with "Dward Lu & Scott Woo"

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

The Real Dex Pirate

I'm not sure how real I am but I am having a good time. Manic hyper, dopey, dizzy, Day 2 of the Dex Pirate and Lu and I are still living together.

You have no idea how hard that actually is. God Bless you Lu!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Dex Pirate

Arr Matey
It's ben fer ours n I'm lookin fer sumtin ta stick.

Monday, April 10, 2006

The Wilderness

An exotic species invaded my unspoiled drug free wilderness last week and has been ravaging through the forest feeding on all the tasty myeloid plasma cells. The delicate ecosystem is now listing slightly out of balance. In my case balance was a minor issue. The manic sleep deprived nights were more emergent. My best description was "I feel like Peter looks." If you know my dear friend Peter Homer then you'll have a pretty good idea of my state of mind. If not, drink a few glasses of wine and a few pots of coffee, then spin in place 10 times. Now stand still for a minute to get your bearings, walk with a shuffle, turned slightly sideways and try to stay focused.

I'm on a 4 days on, 4 days off steroid schedule. After 4 days with no steroids I actually feel like a human this morning. I'll be riding the dex-coaster again tomorrow. I also plan on teaching and living life with an attitude, in part because I know what to expect. In part because I'm determined to make this work.

Deb Sherman's (a dear old high school friend) partner Kerry died on Tuesday of cancer. The service on Saturday was exceptionally intense for me. It is always moving when death touches the young and seemingly healthy. Kerry and Deb blazed a path deep into my wilderness, taking me places I am still afraid of and uneasy with. On the flip side was the outpouring love and compassion from our friends. We are blessed with an amazingly loyal family of friends who are helping me keep the darkness at bay. Deb, know that you are loved. You are a wonderful soul.

God bless.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Chezmo

After driving my systemic rats to water with warfarin for a few days I started work on my Eloma. I took the Thalidomide and dexamethasone at 9 PM on Monday and fell deeply and peacefully to sleep by 10:30. At 6 the next morning when the alarm went off there was no way I going to get up and drive a car anywhere. I spent the rest of the day home driving my laptop from bed. No serious accidents!

Last night I moved the thal/dex to 7 PM, hoping that by 7 AM I might be able to drive. Well at 5 AM I had still not gotten a wink of sleep. Just a few night time highlights: the house is slightly cleaner, a few printer ink cartridges were messily refilled, there is an "under construction" web site for my doctor, proof read a few papers, there was a fierce battle against the digital entropy in my life and countless other manic expressions of over activity.

The oncology nurse wants me to get a couple hours of sleep and wake up and take the dex at about noon, then wash the windows, starting with the outside. That was a stupid idea without access to some serious sleeping pills. So now it is 12:30. I'm dosing up the dex and planning on going to sleep anyways.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Cliff Diving

Thursday was cliff diving day. I completed my sex ed survey and expect an armored vehicle delivery of Thalidomide on Monday. The thalidomide should put me to sleep, the dexamethasone should wake me up, the rat poison (warfarin) should keep my blood thin, prevent me from scavenging mindlessly for food and turning my friends in to the authorities for unlawful behavior.

The surreal seemingly healthy Scott is taking the plunge. I hate diving boards, heights and cliff diving in general. I've been watching the waves and pray that my timing is perfect.

My whirlwind vacation to the Oregon coast was spectacular - thanks Rosie and Mark! Our camp is in good order, but pulling with a mighty grip on my psyche to come relax, explore, build, fix and invent. It is a safe haven of delight and passion.

Just why is mister tennis, active, meditating, organic, ohm wow Scott who feels fine (except for the fatigue) got this nasty "incurable" blood cancer? Heck my Mom sent me to school with organic figs as snacks over 30 years ago. If anyone told you life was fair they were either delusional or attempting to delude you. Then on top of that add all the controversy theories about the AMA, FDA and big pharma into the mix and there is more than enough fear to kill anyone. Buy into just a little bit of the fear and look at complementary therapies (not even alternatives) and there is a mind numbing barrage of people who want your money because

"We are not the cheapest source, but we are the BEST source..."
"We refuse to carry low-cost, inferior quality..."
"No other company can match our skill, sophistication or experience when it comes to providing you with guaranteed potency, research quality,..."


Alternative cancer therapy is so full of clich├ęs that it makes me sick reading it. Maybe I'm just to logical.

Stop, breeth, seek peace and move forward.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

The Cocktail Party

The party starts next week. I'm just so excited. I have never been to a cocktail party that required a condom and a sex ed class to attend. There better be plenty of those umbrellas in my drinks.

The sex ed part is code named STEPS. These appear to be the important steps:

1. Establish appropriateness (impossible)
2. Contraceptive counseling, including counseling on emergency contraception (this is quite the party)
3. Administer the patient quiz (and if I fail? how many times do I get to try?)
4. Informed consent (It's ok, I like sex)
5. Mandatory and confidential survey enrollment form (I'll do it, really, and I won't be scared limp!)

Pregnant women are not allowed - thank god. In fact sterile women are preferred. A steroid and other sweeteners are added to cocktail to enhance effectiveness and counter side effects.

I've really done it now!

The Echo Cardio Game with Loyd

Loyd didn't show - the limey skit. His presence was not missed, although I was hoping to bleed him dry. We watched TV instead. My little thumping pumping heart was the feature presentation. I can do without the slimy snot they smeared all over me. Decomposing tissues are a feeble weapon against snot filled chest hair.

The skeletal survey was loads more fun. I've got plans for Halloween! Then there was the glowing MRI tube that buzzes and grunts. I wonder who invents this shit. They must have bulging pocket protectors and thick glasses.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Blood Sucking Butterflies

I met my new best friend today, Shaka-Khan, a myeloma expert (and oncologist). Like his name sake from the early 1800's, Shaka Zulu, who revolutionized the Zulu army's weaponry and its military tactics, Shaka-Khan has perfected several complex drug formations that will outflank and confuse my laughing plasma cells. Shaka's weapon of choice today was a blood sucking butterfly, with lime green wings, silver nose and a transparent thorax. Amazingly the thorax quickly sucked out 15 vials of deep red bubbly blood inducing a hypnotic awe inspiring trance. I thought I was anemic - I am now - I could not have been earlier today!

The poor intern who got stuck with my intake and discharge was so confused, overwhelmed and badgered by the keyboard queens at the checkout window that the quickly growing line all got in a good laugh at her expense. You need requisition A347B for that test, two RP27 direct booking assignment sheets to complete an in house MRI, a runner form 832 so Genie can get a one gallon urine jug from the lab and on and on and on. They had to build a copy machine just for me because I needed to know how many of my future offspring and what part of my kids inheritance I signed away rights to before I would leave. That was 12 pages long, each of which needed to be initialized, notarized, finger printed and sealed with blood.

Isn't life grand. The medical kings and queens try oh so hard to win the battle against entropy.

I closed out the day with a hypnotist for 3 hours. That fixed everything, world peace, hunger, cancer, and poverty, all gone. (for at least 2 of the 3 hours anyways)

Friday, February 24, 2006

Am a Loyd

Today I found out they removed a Loyd from my colon a couple weeks ago. I was not aware of "am a Loyd" (amyloid) tumors until I searched the web. Apparently people with over excited plasma cells often have little friends named Loyd hanging around. I don't know any Loyds, but they must be real party animals. It seems that Loyd may be responsible for stealing all my iron as well. This is just rediculous. We're having a little chat this evening. I think he needs some time in the quiet chair.

Supposedly they echo if you yell at them. So the good doctor Lawrence is sending me to some sort of echo cardio game. I'll let you know if I win any money.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Cancer Girl

So like so many other mindless adventures on the web, today's happen to cross paths with something interesting: The Adventures Of Cancer Girl.

Now I have created yet another blog to clutter up the net. I happen to write in my exclusive diary... for no particular exclusionary reason. I thought this would be a nice experiment in connected creativity.

I was tentatively diagnosed with multiple myeloma on December 27, just a few months ago. On the 5th of January I was officially overhelmed with X-Rays, strange blood tests and bone marrow biopsy results. I have stage one myeloma.

This is a quest to poke a little humor into myeloma. You can now endearingly refer to me as "My eloma boy" Just what we define eloma to be is yet to realized.

A search turned up "For 30 years Eloma GmbH has been one of the leading manufacturers of combi-steamers and bake-off ovens." I love bake-off's. We had one at our 50's Prom Murder Mystery wedding party - that is a major side track I'm not traveling today. I now want an "Eloma Joker Combi-cooking/Regenerating/Convection Oven"

How about
Please submit to the eLOMA Coordinator for processing at the following address:
Federal Emergency Management Agency, Attn: eLOMA Coordinator
I need an eLOMA coordinator. You have no idea how much advise and info I get every day. I also had no idea that I could submit an Electronic Letter of Map Amendment (eLOMA) to FEMA and possibly get the flood of plasma cells in my home added to the federal flood map.

Your help in acronymizing or otherwise defining eloma would be appreciated.