The party starts next week. I'm just so excited. I have never been to a cocktail party that required a condom and a sex ed class to attend. There better be plenty of those umbrellas in my drinks.
The sex ed part is code named STEPS. These appear to be the important steps:
1. Establish appropriateness (impossible)
2. Contraceptive counseling, including counseling on emergency contraception (this is quite the party)
3. Administer the patient quiz (and if I fail? how many times do I get to try?)
4. Informed consent (It's ok, I like sex)
5. Mandatory and confidential survey enrollment form (I'll do it, really, and I won't be scared limp!)
Pregnant women are not allowed - thank god. In fact sterile women are preferred. A steroid and other sweeteners are added to cocktail to enhance effectiveness and counter side effects.
I've really done it now!