Monday, April 24, 2006

Dex DTs

My Dex Delirium Tremens. Up, right, crazy, sleepy, dopey, dizzy, bitchy, dreamy, frustrated, fragile, manic, screaming, crying, laughing, shaking, skin crawling, tingling, itching drug induced whacked out dexamethasone withdrawal. Welcome to PMS, dex style. I apologize for even wondering all these years why after hundreds of periods every one is such a challenge. If they are anything like this I am oh so very sorry. You poor tortured beings. At 3 AM after taking hundreds of milligrams of somnolence (A condition of semiconsciousness approaching coma) inducing thalidomide I should be dead to the world. Fear not - that would be blissful.

A nice dex vacation is coming. I'm oh so very enthused by the simplest of life's pleasures, normalcy.

Blessed are the normal, for they will inherit my body. Scott 5:5

Thursday, April 20, 2006

The rats go marching

The rats go marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah.

Scott, We have change. The rats are leaving, a bit slowly. Our goal is an INR of 1.5 we have managed to move you from 0.8 to 1.3 over the last 3 weeks. Lets bump you up to 10 mg a day. Come back on Monday and we will see how many rats are left.

In the mean time. Three hours of sleep a night is not appropriate. How about if we give you more drugs? The dex and thal seem to have a powerful effect on your virgin biochemistry. I bet I can give you something to knock you out real good. (Maybe I should try pot, I hear it induces apathy. Maybe none of this would matter anymore.)

Manic is good as long as I don't interact with anyone. I have to do 10 things at once. On rare occasions things get finished. A very counterproductive entropy enhancing high. Isn't life grand.

You might notice that I only post when I'm manic... I can't shut up. If you like one sided conversations I'm your man. I actually feel normal by comparison the other half of my life.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Dem Pesky Rats

The rats are not getting the message! They might be scared, but they just aren't leaving.

The good doctor doubled the poison again. Come back on Thursday and we'll see if it worked.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Happy Easter


So I've gained 12 pounds in the last 2 weeks! The thal stimulates the appetite, the dex holds on to the water. I'm digressing back to the Chunky Hunky Easter Scottie at 2 years.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Settling Down

My new side kick Dex, although warped and hyper, is beginning to settle down. I slept great last night, a good solid 7 hours. Lu came home to me passed out in bed with my laptop and glasses still on in some sort of purring state of oblivion.

I'm looking for a parrot for my shoulder, named Dex, and a nice sword, named Thal, to round out my image. Or maybe I should be Dex and the parrot a sleepy dopey confused repeating Thal?

Be sure to check out Lu's attempt at making sense of my life for those of you who need that and can't extract it my verbal drool. The Real Deal with "Dward Lu & Scott Woo"

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

The Real Dex Pirate

I'm not sure how real I am but I am having a good time. Manic hyper, dopey, dizzy, Day 2 of the Dex Pirate and Lu and I are still living together.

You have no idea how hard that actually is. God Bless you Lu!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Dex Pirate

Arr Matey
It's ben fer ours n I'm lookin fer sumtin ta stick.

Monday, April 10, 2006

The Wilderness

An exotic species invaded my unspoiled drug free wilderness last week and has been ravaging through the forest feeding on all the tasty myeloid plasma cells. The delicate ecosystem is now listing slightly out of balance. In my case balance was a minor issue. The manic sleep deprived nights were more emergent. My best description was "I feel like Peter looks." If you know my dear friend Peter Homer then you'll have a pretty good idea of my state of mind. If not, drink a few glasses of wine and a few pots of coffee, then spin in place 10 times. Now stand still for a minute to get your bearings, walk with a shuffle, turned slightly sideways and try to stay focused.

I'm on a 4 days on, 4 days off steroid schedule. After 4 days with no steroids I actually feel like a human this morning. I'll be riding the dex-coaster again tomorrow. I also plan on teaching and living life with an attitude, in part because I know what to expect. In part because I'm determined to make this work.

Deb Sherman's (a dear old high school friend) partner Kerry died on Tuesday of cancer. The service on Saturday was exceptionally intense for me. It is always moving when death touches the young and seemingly healthy. Kerry and Deb blazed a path deep into my wilderness, taking me places I am still afraid of and uneasy with. On the flip side was the outpouring love and compassion from our friends. We are blessed with an amazingly loyal family of friends who are helping me keep the darkness at bay. Deb, know that you are loved. You are a wonderful soul.

God bless.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Chezmo

After driving my systemic rats to water with warfarin for a few days I started work on my Eloma. I took the Thalidomide and dexamethasone at 9 PM on Monday and fell deeply and peacefully to sleep by 10:30. At 6 the next morning when the alarm went off there was no way I going to get up and drive a car anywhere. I spent the rest of the day home driving my laptop from bed. No serious accidents!

Last night I moved the thal/dex to 7 PM, hoping that by 7 AM I might be able to drive. Well at 5 AM I had still not gotten a wink of sleep. Just a few night time highlights: the house is slightly cleaner, a few printer ink cartridges were messily refilled, there is an "under construction" web site for my doctor, proof read a few papers, there was a fierce battle against the digital entropy in my life and countless other manic expressions of over activity.

The oncology nurse wants me to get a couple hours of sleep and wake up and take the dex at about noon, then wash the windows, starting with the outside. That was a stupid idea without access to some serious sleeping pills. So now it is 12:30. I'm dosing up the dex and planning on going to sleep anyways.